Tales of a Music Mama
Monday, January 16, 2012
Messy Monday Begins...
More info to come on how to submit your pictures and thoughts.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Beauty and the Mess

There are even celebrity mom bloggers. They write eloquently, post exquisite photographs, journal their Food-Network-worthy dishes, knit, crotchet, sew and paint, all while teaching their dozens of whimsical children at home...
I am only suggesting that we think twice about the standard we create when we post only the good stuff.
I think it's valuable open our eyes to beauty.
But it's also valuable to open our eyes to the mess...to acknowledge the mess...embrace the mess..to even blog the mess (Messy Mondays anyone?) and I'm going first:
Keep in mind, the "mess" here isn't even close to the messiness that exists in my life, but just hasn't been caught on camera!




#4 - Food:


Not jelly I made myself. Not even organic.
Straight up grape jelly.




As evidenced by this picture I found on the camera while preparing for this very post, my bored-out-of-her-mind child had resorted to playing with my camera without me even realizing it.
This happens more than finger-painting with cornstarch.



So expensive in fact, we have to cut costs elsewhere--like replacing our broken refrigerator door pieces with duct tape.

It is peaceful and lovely.
It is satisfying and nourishing.
It is blooming and it is plentiful.
It is a summer garden.
Other times, it looks like this:
Much of the time, our lives are rained on socks and old banana peels, tears and defeat, life held together with duct tape with glory and beauty sprinkled here and there.
Some don't even have the time for discontentedness--they have bigger troubles, like lack of housing or very ill children.
I am also thankful for the mess.
For the moments not captured in a blog.
I'm thankful for the time my daughter told me she wished I wasn't her mom, because despite the hurt, I was able to hold her and let her cry it out, and model unconditional love and forgiveness...
I'm thankful for this mess.
I'm thankful for the "winter garden" when the ground seems hard and cold, but important things are happening just beneath the surface.
I'm thankful for the "summer garden" when we bloom and laugh and when our cup overflows...

Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Behind the FAWM Series #14 - "Take What You Want"
The Grower of Trees, the gardener, the man born to farming, whose hands reach into the ground and sprout to him the soil is a divine drug. He enters into death yearly, and comes back rejoicing. He has seen the light lie down in the dung heap, and rise again in the corn. His thought passes along the row ends like a mole. What miraculous seed has he swallowed That the unending sentence of his love flows out of his mouth Like a vine clinging in the sunlight, and like water Descending in the dark? - The Man Born to Farming, by Wendell Berry
Sandra blogged about it (beautifully) over at Art House America.
Since reading Berrry's work, and since becoming more informed about the effect of industrialization on the small farms, I have become, oh, let's say *slightly* passionate about the subjects of farm preservation and food justice.
I brought my girls to their/my first rally, to raise awareness about the issue of genetic modification and to protest the ban on labeling food that has been genetically modified.
The industry of farming with genetically modified seed is not only bad for our food, it's bad for our farmers. There are *ahem* certain agribusiness entities that are particularly aggressive, and this song was written with the farmer in mind who has been strong armed by the corporate giant and has no choice but to surrender, and ultimately, give up his livelihood.
I brought Mr. Berry a copy of this song, a song dedicated to all the farmers out there who are truly men "Born to Farming" and struggling to do so in this age of industry.
Take What You Want
Title suggested by Curtis.
A big straw hat and a leather tan
Growin' up out of the dark red mud
50 years of sweat and blood
They moved in close and they sowed machines
They wrote their name on every seed
They milked the ground till it was bone dry
And in a distant field you could hear him cry
Oh, take what you want
Oh, you take what you want
He kept on just like he'd always done
From the last of the stars to the last of the sun
They came rolling in like rain
That rots the fields and floods the plains
They pulled him up just like a wild weed
They called him liar and they called him thief
Hands in his pockets he walked away
They took it all and he took the blame
He said
Oh, take what you want
Oh, you take what you want
You can have my money
You can have my bread
You can even have the roof from over my head
I'll keep the stains in the cracks of my hands
I'll keep the smell of the dusty land
Take what you want
I'll have the peace that lets me sleep
Every year and memory
Take what you want
Full
Did you know that musicians have other lives too?
Years ago, I didn't know.
By the time I was born, my musician parents had given up the road, and the "music life," and had regular lives (more or less) so other than the frequent late night jam sessions, my only exposure to the life of the musician was through their stories.
So, naturally, I romanticized their lives and imagined that all musicians (regular musicians, not uber-world-famous ones) just sat around all day long writing songs and playing shows.
Musicians don't do this.
At least a lot of the ones I know don't--many of them have other jobs, pursue other interests, record and produce other musicians and generally are creative in other elements, and amazing entrepreneurs.
Music has always been an integral part of my life, and I feel so thankful to be able to share that with you, and to write songs people listen to.
That said, I am learning that it doesn't have to be everything to be satisfying.
In fact, it's probably good that it's not.
This post is already getting longer than I had anticipated--and sometime I will post more, but for now, this is the long and short of it:
I am recording my 3rd record, and I am also back at school, full time, pursuing my English (creative writing emphasis) degree.
With little ones, music, school, etc., I have never felt busier--but I have also never felt so rich, or so full.
I am SO proud of the songs on the record, and having so much fun recording them (thanks to the Kickstarters out there!) and I am also stretching the not-so-creative part of my brain by working out math problems, refreshing my Spanish skills, brushing up on my world history and doing something else I love: writing, writing, writing.
It is hard work, but it is already so rewarding.
I have noticed a correlation between the logical part of my brain and the creative part, and that when I strengthen one, the other benefits. I'm excited to see how those two seemingly separate worlds continue to compliment each other. I get a thrill from writing an essay as much as I do from writing a song, and the first is one I have never sought any formal training for, before now.
Since I love connecting with my fans, and I love the dialog we have between us, I wanted to let you all know a little bit about what I've been up to lately.
Thanks for listening, and thanks for all of your support during Kickstarter and always!
A post to come later this afternoon with the story behind "Take What You Want."
Stay tuned!
-FP
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Kickstarter Success!

Friends, YOU made this happen. The album is funded. Let the recording commence!
- Weekly blog behind the songs of FAWM (this week's will post tomorrow)
- Video updates of the recording progress
- Clues about the record and the musicians who will be part of it
- Kickstarter goodies and notes will begin to go out to all who have pledged!
- Short tour in California in October. Stay tuned!
Tuesday, September 06, 2011
Behind the FAWM Series #13 - "Bankrupt Heart"
My friend Jeff is a songwriter.
As in, he gets paid to write songs.
(He is also a CRAZY talented pianist who travels the country playing for folks like this)
I called him to see if he'd do a co-write with me for FAWM and of course, he already had several song ideas and titles in mind so he let me have this one.
You may be thinking employment as a songwriter sounds like a pretty sweet...and easy career.
But after our session I quickly realized that writing a pop song is anything but easy.
Someone who is primarily a songwriter, writes material that most people will enjoy and relate to. Someone who is primarily an artist-- or at least, how *I* operate as an artist, is to take my own experiences, poems, etc. and craft them into songs.
People generally can still relate to my music because everyone's worldview and experience flavors the things they take in, but there is often a story or meaning to the song that they'll never know.
Of course there is crossover and every songwriter and artist is different, but the point is that it was HARD for me to set aside me, the "artist" and find my inner songwriter, writing a song that had a clear meaning, that a large population could relate to, but that wouldn't be too cheesy...or complicated.
So, hats off to songwriters.
Those songs on the radio took a lot more thought than you can imagine and I now have a much greater appreciation for pop music.
Bankrupt Heart
Suggested and co-written by Jeff Pardo
Can’t cash in and I can’t cash out
Can’t move on, can’t hold you now
I’ve been filled up and I’ve been bled dry
‘cause I can’t leave the past behind
Got a bankrupt heart
Got a bankrupt heart
Keep tryin to fix
What’s fallen apart
Got a bankrupt heart
Heard you’re happy being free
Wish I could say the same for me
But every time I meet someone knew
These chains keep pulling me back to you
CHORUS
I’m broke like I’ve never been
And I’m not owed anything
Stuck in the in between
Of what was and what could be
Can’t cash in and I can’t cash out
Want so bad to let go somehow
Thursday, September 01, 2011
Behind the FAWM Series #12 - "Broken Things"
"I want to fix these broken things"
Friends children were dying of cancer, multiple friends were divorcing, and all over the world, people were hungry, fighting, suffering, and in some cases, all of the above.
The thought just came to me as I sat overwhelmed, wishing I had some tool, some answer, some way of changing a million impossible situations.
I want to fix these things.
I wish I could fix them.
At the time I wrote that status update I was asking for song titles and several of you suggested writing about that, and so, a song was born.
These Broken Things
Song title suggested by Anne-Marie Strohman, Lisa Zisa, and several others...
Here I stand on shattered dusty ground
Nails and plans, hammer in my hands
Falling down
Falling down
Pieces run through my fingers just like sand
Hungry without food to eat
I want to fix these broken things
Love that fades and tears that sting
I want to fix these things
Guns and wars and casualties
I want to fix these broken things
Love that fades and tears that sting
I want to fix these things
I want to fix these things
Far beyond the wreckage and the dust
Hope will come for every daughter, every son
Falling down
Falling down
Every tear will be wiped away by love
You take the dishes, I keep the ring
I want to fix these broken things
Love that fades and tears that sting
I want to fix these things
Every sob and every scream
I want to fix these broken things
Love that fades and tears that sting
I want to fix these things
I want to fix these things
Who can fix these things
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Behind the FAWM Series #11 - "Let's Move to Stars Hollow"
Really, if you are not a Gilmore Girls fan...this may not be that funny.
It may not be that funny if you are a Gilmore Girls fan.
Who knows.
I do know, that there are a WHOLE lotta guys out there who are GG fans and my husband happens to be one of them.
We got through the entire show in about 2 months.
WE ARE ADDICTS.
And now, every fall I long to pack my things and move us to the crisp New England
This song is...well...just plain silly. I don't even know how I fit in all the lyrics of the bridge, and I think I actually gave up at one point and let it all sound crazy.
Ryan Miller, who is another FAWMer, friend, and GG fan, suggested this title.
So *I* suggested a co-write.
He and I worked feverishly on these awe inspiring lyrics.
Every line of the song means something GGish.
If only there was a way to work in how annoying Dean is.
The music itself is sort of a nod to Lane's quirky taste in underground indie rock.
Whelp, here goes:
Does anyone recognize the outro?
Favorite GG moment?
Have I lost any fans over this one? Wait. Don't answer that.
Let's Move to Stars Hollow
Suggested and co-written by Ryan Miller
Star crossed lovers lost and found
In the middle of a town
They made their home and stuck around
In Stars Hollow
Every Thursday night I'd start to dream
‘bout the paradise on my TV screen
That gazebo on the rolling green
Is so inviting
Take my hand
Where you lead I’ll follow
Take a chance
Let’s move to Stars Hollow
I don’t care where we go
Sores and boils alley
Constabulary road
It can be crusty bulge
As long as it’s Stars Hollow
(Chorus)
Summer, fall, winter spring
There’s a festival for each
Doose’s Market, Kim’s Antiques
Dance School, Weston’s Bakery
Troubador is strolling by
I hear him from the Dragonfly
Hometown diner, coffee, pie
They’ve even got 2 Lorelai’s
Luke and Taylor
Jackson, Sookie
Kirk, Michel, Babette, Miss Patty
Lane, Paul Anka, Lulu, Gypsy
Everybody’s talking fast
And everybody’s so damn WITTY!
Behind the FAWM Series #10 - "Slippery Slope"
The songwriting for this particular title was a bit of a deviation from my normal FAWM writing.
I might call it "externally inspired."
A lot of the other songs were written in the FAWM spirit of "going after inspiration with a club."
Sit down. Pick a title. Write a song. Done.
While I've spent a lot of time lately harping on that idea, we mustn't forget that at times, inspiration truly strikes--in places we aren't looking and at times we don't expect.
When I'm not writing for FAWM, there is a little more room for this kind of thing.
A lot of times an idea will appear, tiny as a sprout and eventually, for lack of better terms, it grows SO big, I feel like I have no other choice than to release it; as though there is a weight that exists until I write whatever it is that is in my heart.
In the case of this song, there were a lot of personal issues I was dealing with at the time that now in retrospect, I see were building and I was greatly in need of some release.
Almost all of my FAWM songs from 2010 were influenced by my having been in counseling at the time.
It was a very heavy year.
Going to counseling is not an easy thing, it is not a quick fix, and it is not very pretty.
Personally, I was dealing with 20 year old issues and although it was completely necessary, there is still a delicate balance in counseling between navigating those murky waters to come out on the other side and letting it overwhelm you and falling completely over the edge.
If you have ever been in therapy, you understand this completely, without me having to explain.
I came home after a concert late one night, feeling very inspired musically.
If I stay up too late, I can't sleep and I was sort of on a music high already and I sat down really excited to write a new FAWM song.
The music came fast, and then - I was actually a bit surprised that the lyrics came out the way they did.
It was as if they had been right there, growing in front of me, waiting to be picked.
And maybe that's what true inspiration means.
Maybe it doesn't always come externally, but internally, the fruits of a very full heart.
I wrote this song in about 20 minutes at 2:00 in the morning
Remember these are all rough garageband demos, but TEN of them will be made into a full length record, and you can STILL HELP!
Slippery Slope
Title submitted by Cheri Kozlowski
When I was a girl
I could tell you anything
And you would believe me
As long as you agreed
When I was a girl
When I was a girl
Playing hide and seek
You never found me
I never let you see
I can put one foot before the last
It’s a slippery slope
When you gotta go back
Easy to slide, when you’re digging through the past
It’s a slippery slope
Traveling back
When I was a girl
I knew everything
About winning and losing
And shrouding my tears
When I was a girl
When I was a girl
I lost everything
Now I’m puttin’ it back
Piece by piece by piece
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Behind the FAWM Series #9 - "Your Side of the Bed"
This is especially bad when you have to go to sleep next to the person you are arguing with.
..or, don't know you are arguing with.
Had I not just finished Mittens and Magnets when I read this title, it might have turned into a more lighthearted song.
However, I had just worked out all my cutesy, so "Your Side of the Bed" became a little more...complicated.
Just like the argument you don't know you're in.
Your Side of the Bed
Title suggested by Wendy Twit
Your side of the bed
Perfect indentation
Heavy from your frame
From the dreams inside your head
Lying next to me
A different expectation
A thousand miles away
From me, on the other side
I can’t close my eyes
You can’t see my side
You’ll sleep, keeping the peace
And I’ll be right here, ready to fight
You fall, you fall
Farther away from me
You’ll sleep keeping the peace
And I will wait here, ready to fight
You wait it out from your side
You fall
You fall
You fall
Farther and farther
You fall
You fall
Farther away from me
You’ll sleep, keeping the peace
And I’ll be right here, ready to fight
You fall, you fall
Farther away from me
You’ll sleep keeping the peace
And I will wait here, ready to fight
You wait it out
Your side of the bed
Different expectations
A thousand miles away
From me, on the other side
Monday, August 22, 2011
Behind the FAWM Series #8 - "The Princess and the Fox"
Around the time I was writing last February's album, my youngest daughter Amelie was having recurring nightmares about ... foxes.
"They chase me and bite my hands!" she would sob, pathetically, half asleep and terrified.
We began to pray with her before bed, that she would dream about lovely things.
Fairies! Rainbows! Princesses!
ANYTHING but foxes.
One night as I crept by her room, expecting to find her asleep, she was whisper-chanting to herself with her eyes tightly shut, "Princesses, princesses, PRINCESSES...NO foxes."
So sweet, so sad.
I posted something on Facebook about it, and as a result, got a song title suggestion out of it.
I wanted the result to be more than a cute kiddie song, but something that she could fall asleep to, and something that would dissolve her fears.
And to my surprise, it actually worked.
The night I played her the finished version was the first night in days she didn't have the nightmare.
She knows all the words and sings it so proudly.
For sweet Amelie:
The Princess and the Fox
Title suggested by Sarah Hamner
There was a princess fierce and brave
Big brown eyes and a pretty name
Hair that shimmered like a pot of gold
Every night when she closed her eyes
Her drowsy self got a big surprise
Sneaky little fox came scuttling into her dream
She said I am so fierce and brave
I am not scared of anything
So why must I be afraid
Of you, you, you, you, you
Was a fox wild and sly
Bushy tailed and shifty eyed
Fur as rusty red as the little pig’s house
Every night in his cozy den
The same ol’ nightmare will begin
A pretty princess chases him in his dream
He says I am so wild and sly
Tell me then, why can’t I hide
She pulls my tail and makes me cry
Oh why, why, why
She leaves her castle
He leaves his cozy den
They stop in the middle
And then…
Stare at each other they
Stare at each other they
Stare at each other they
Stare at each other
Till it gets really awkward and they both laugh and say
I am not afraid, anymore
Sometimes friendship can look odd
A picnic on the castle lawn
The princess and the fox sitting in the sun…
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Behind the FAWM Series #7 - "Bisous de France"
One of the dangers of the internet, is being able to become an "expert" on nearly anything in a very short amount of time.
This is how I became fluent in French! And wrote a song in French! In one afternoon!
Well...
I at least plugged some words into a translation tool and got some words back, and sort of put them together hoping they made an ounce of sense.
Or an "once" as we say in French.
No. Not once, the English word, ONCE, the French word.
The one I just got off of the internet translator.
This wound up being one of the most enjoyable to write.
I constructed the general theme and English version, and then studied my options for the French version, choosing the words very carefully.
It felt more like I was creating a little nugget of art, rather than writing a song and I think there was some sort of subconscious correlation there with the rich history of French art and the fact that the song would be in French.
So, with the title as inspiration, I set out to sculpt a beautiful song out of these lovely words.
And the words really are lovely-so much lovelier than ours that it made it easy to write.
Who among you speaks French?
(Let them remain silent and not criticize one once of this possibly grammatically incorrect song)
Just kidding. Share your thoughts!
Bisous de France
Title suggested by Gilles Fournat
Danser
Vous dans votre veste
J'ai dans ma robe de fleurs
Danser
Tout par la nuit
Donnez-moi des bisous
Marcher
Au-dessous des arbres
Un couvert seulement pour nous
Marcher
Quand nous sommes fatigue
Donnez-moi des bisous
Donne-moi ton bise
Donne-moi ton bise
Donne-moi ton bise
Donnez-moi des bisous
Dance, Dance
You in your jacket and
I in my dress full of flowers
Dance, Dance
All through the night
Give me your kiss
Walk, Walk
Under the trees
A canopy only for us
Walk, Walk
When we are tired
Give me your kiss
Give me your kiss
Give me your kiss
Give me your kiss
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Behind The FAWM Series #6 - "White and Blue"
It has been a long, hot, humid southern summer (in my case), and the thought of snow seems miles and worlds and ages away.
But when I listen to this, I can remember the winter night it was written.
Snowed in and quiet, almost like time stood still.
Like the world packed it's bags and took a vacation to someplace warm, and left us here, together.
White and Blue
Title suggested by Martin Crumpton
Watching, waiting, time is frozen
As the snow begins to fall
Hold me, wrap me up
Surround me with your love
Inside this calm
And the world glows white and blue
In the warmth of me and you
Moonlit silence, on the outside
Everything is still and bright
Heart beats louder on the inside
Of my chest, your hand in mine
And the world glows white and blue
In the warmth of me and you
Hush now, hush now
Quietly the winds blow over
Us now, us now
Wordlessly this love takes over
Behind The Fawm Series #5 - "Ritual"
At first, I was worried it might seem blasphemous to put a romantic relationship in religious terms, but the more I wrote this more it made sense and personally, these two aspects of life hold a lot of parallels.
During the past year, our family sought a new church home and found one, in a traditional Anglican church.
I had always imagined that a church such as this would be dead and disconnected spiritually.
In fact, the opposite was true, and the ancient practices and the liturgy of the service brought peace and calm like honey to my soul.
The season of Lent made me particularly spiritually aware, and as it was Lent when I first read the word "Ritual," it brought to mind images of spiritual practice and liturgy.
Years ago, the word would have had a negative connotation.
Instead, the ritual of our Sundays, the order of our church worship service, the sacraments, the ancient practices, ALL of these things leave me joyous and refreshed in a way I never would have imagined.
Enter, the romantic relationship.
Our love is not grown by a new emotional experience, or maintained through grand adventures.
Our love is grown by our history, and is maintained by the choice we make every year, every week, every morning and every hour to stand by each other.
Sure, we like to have grand adventures, but the places we find the most joy, have been in the Ritual.
Waking up beside each other, drinking our coffee, holding hands...
And just like our Sundays, these moments together (while from the outside might seem rote and monotonous) are the moments we are filled with peace and calm and inexplicable joy, and this is the perspective from which I chose to write this song.
What do you think of "Ritual?"
(Either the song, it's presence in your life?)
Ritual
Title suggested by Gary Luparello
I could drink you wine
Every time
You look at me
I could wake up each morning
And feel the glory
Of your breath on me
You, you are my ritual
Your love, your love is a liturgy
I would turn all your pages
Read you for ages
That’s what I’d do
I want all of the seconds
Of all of minutes
Of every hour with you
You, you are my ritual
Your love, your love is a mystery
Take me into your arms
Over and over
Over and over
You, you are my ritual
Your love, your love is a liturgy
You, you are my ritual
Your love, your love is a mystery
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Behind The Fawm Series #4 - "Pity Not the Armadillo"
That said, my friends know the sort of thing that I could never, ever resist.
Like a song about ARMADILLOS!
My fascination with these curious, armored little creatures, dates back over 20 years.
I think it actually may have begun with a postcard received from my best friend who was traveling through Texas.
Or, maybe she sent the postcard because of the obsession.
Now that I think about it, I don't quite remember.
Sometimes little children in Sunday school ask, "Who made God?" and the inevitable answer is, "God has always been."
So, I suppose, it is with my armadillo infatuation.
One afternoon, many years ago, my mom was driving a car full of tweens (myself included) to a birthday party.
We realized we had left the invitation at home (30 minutes away) containing all of the information, and so we hunted down the nearest payphone, threw in some quarters and crossed our fingers that our neighbor would be home and able to get the invitation from our house and relay the details of the party.
We all peeked out of the backseat as my mom looked as though she was stifling laughter and trying to get off the phone as quickly as possible.
Moments later, we were laughing too.
Our neighbor, had gotten inside and read off a small piece of paper he had found on our desk.
I wish I could have been the one listening, because I think it would have been really great to hear a grown man slowly read, "Armadillos ... are ... our ... friends?"
I was slightly mortified that he had read OUT loud, the silliness I had scrawled out (with a doodle of an armadillo no less) but even I had to admit it was funny and I will say I was at least as much amused as he was confused.
If he would have dug around further, he might have found the very first draft of an Armadillo single, circa 1993:
"There's a Texan armadillo on my pillow. On my pillow sits a Texan armadillo. He opens his eyes, and tells me lies. There's a Texan armadillo on my pillow."
Or, subsequently:
"Armadillos like to tango, armadillos like to dance, armadillos like to conga, armadillos like romance."
Now, I have no idea why an armadillo would be telling lies, or if one would even enjoy dancing of any nature, but the thought of this strange scaly critter doing such things pleased me immensely and every time I thought of one doing anything out of (armadillo) character I would burst out into fits of giggles.
This happened, mostly during class...with my best friend, of course.
Anyway, there you have it.
"Armadillo Appreciation 101" or at least, a short history of my love of them.
I wrote this to be fun, light, and comedic.
I find it surprising that it is one of THE most requested FAWM songs I have ever written, and I play it live a lot more than I ever intended.
(Zero, being the number of times I would have intended to play it live;)
Who likes this one?
Can anyone guess the other bizarre and more recent animal of my affections?
Pity Not the Armadillo
Title submitted by my friend, Ryan Miller
Pity not the armadillo
He gets around
Although he’s so slow
The people swerve ‘cause he’s in their lane
He’ll mosey on along the highway
He’ll get there soon enough
Pity not the armadillo
His calloused head
It needs no pillow
He’ll roll himself into a ball
He’ll close his eyes and then he’ll fall
Into a dusty Texas dream
Walk on, walk on, you armadillo
Walk on, walk down that road
Walk on, walk on, you armadillo
Pity not the armadillo
His brain is pea sized so he won’t know
That a rancher in a rover
Is about to run him over
He doesn’t think, he just goes
(CHORUS)
Pity not the armadillo
Let him be and let him burrow
May his armor be like steel
May the wind be at his heel
And may his anthills over flow
Monday, August 15, 2011
Behind The Fawm Series #3 - "Hearing Voices"
This was the case even for me, as I started this Kickstarter Campaign.
The idea of a)talking on a video and b)selling my product and c)ASKING PEOPLE FOR MONEY on that video, induced several (not so small) panic attacks.
What if this art isn't good? What if it isn't art at all? What if people don't like it? What if the campaign FAILS??
As I am still about 25% from reaching my goal, these thoughts still haunt me.
How fortunate am I, that it's these thoughts and not others...maybe thoughts you have had or have still.
Condemning thoughts, silencing thoughts.
"No one wants to hear you... Your life means nothing... You aren't loved."
These are more than whispers or naggings.
They are evil and false and they will swallow you whole...if you let them.
I wrote this one during FAWM 2011:
Hearing Voices
Title suggested by Anne-Marie Strohman
There is a quiet in between the two suns
The darkness becomes
A desolate road
Whisper and worry, fear and regret
Form silhouettes
And travel alone
Don't listen
Don't listen
Don't listen
They move in secret and they glide on the edge
Climb on the ledge
Surrounding your door
One by one they come and take up their post
An army of ghosts
You’re losing the war
Don't listen
Don't listen
Don't listen
Their aim is steady and they watch and they wait
Stalking their prey
Calling for you
You say you’re only hearing voices again
But you let them in
And they swallow you whole
Thursday, August 11, 2011
1st Day of School
It is amazing to be able to play with such remarkable musicians, but to be able to count them among my dearest friends is sweeter still.
Last night was a blast and after all was said (sung?) and done, it was well past 11pm before I got on the road and 1am when I was home and packing lunches for the girls' first day of school!
I was in bed at 2am and I was very much in mid-dream when the alarm went off at 6:30 this morning.
I was expecting to be a blubbery mess, since I was still slightly delirious, and I was dropping off not one, but TWO girls at school this morning!
Sera started 2nd grade and my littlest, my tiny baby that was just born ("Amelie Ashe, born in the Bath!" as we call her;) is somehow old enough for Kindergarten.
Everything went great, much better than expected, and none of us cried!
It felt natural this year, and the little school is lovely and warm and welcoming and Amelie already knew the ropes from watching Sera last year.
She also found out a friend is in her same class, and I felt much better walking out the door and seeing them sitting at the same table together.
Josh and I even got to grab coffee together this morning, which was the first date we had in almost a month. I think will be a nice "1st day of school" tradition.
Well, off to stick a chicken in the crock pot (ahem, not one of the pets) and then work on my new record while I have some morning moments alone.
Welcome, new season!















